… Okay maybe I rag on the guy too much. Or maybe my expectations are too high. BUT, I mean it’s Jimmy Fallon. He REPLACED Conan. So is it asking to much that when he tweets, or as I like to call it twats, that it be funny? I don’t think so.

I will say that today he did me proud, finally. He freaking played beer pong with BETTY WHITE. That is cool. Hands down.

I mean need I say more. I haven’t met one I like.

I call my friend this weekend to tell her the time of a party and she response with the dreaded “we’re trying on dresses” and then as if it could not get any worse “it’s floor length”. I sarcastically ask “Oh and it is pink right?” To my horror she response “YES!”

Not only that, when I finally got all the details she informs me her sister wanted them to get the shoes that you die to match the dress! Imagine pink satin pumps, oh i just had a physical reaction to that. This is a practice I thought died in the Bridesmaids Mutiny of 1989, along with big hair and puffy sleeves.

The above describes the worst possible nightmare of all women who have ever been asked to be a bridesmaid. You know a few things going into it like you are going to pay way to much for the dress, it will be 3-4 sizes too big, you’ll pay way to much to have it tailored, have to buy matching shoes to all the other bridesmaids and that you will NEVER under most normal circumstances wear this rag, ever again. EVEN if you paid upwards of $400 on the whole kit and kaboodle. With all that, you just assume, hope or PRAY that your bride won’t be the one who chooses the shiny, pink, floor-length dress with dies-to-match satin pumps.

And still not ever being 100% sure if she will be YOU except… are you crazy, maybe. Can you afford it, no. But you do it because A. this is your dear friend and B. you are plotting your revenge counter dress, which in my case is that crappy dress you made me wear!

Isn’t that what it fells like when it is a beautiful spring day and you have to work. Not only is it one of the first and few warm spring days, but you don’t even have much to DO at work. So your just sitting there glancing outside on occasion dreaming of being out there, reading, riding a bike, sunbathing, running, walking, napping, crafting or anything really. But instead  you are stuck inside staring at a computer screen that is sucking the LIFE out of you.

Man boredom can be exhausting.

… My friends had a baby boy yesterday on, Cinco-de-Mayo. Swine flue aside, this would have given them a lot to celebrate had they been of Mexican decent. But alas they are Irish. Although I wanted them to call him Obama Jr, which would make  him a Muslim right? (Just kidding, you would be appalled at the number of people who still think that!)

Oh what a time to be born into this world, gay marriage is spreading nothing like a wild fire, but happening none-the -less (yeah!), the economy is in the shitter (thanks Bush), we have a black president (yeah again!), and there is a swine flu break out (I think a republican senator actual did try to blame that on the Dems).

Did I mention we have our first black president and he can form full, intelligent sentences off the cuff. That my friends outweighs a lot of the other items previously listed if you ask me.

Welcome to the world little Jacky BABY!

Oh and of course Baby Jack didn’t escape my crafty side:

lissy-birdies

lissy-owl-mouse

f-ing Martha, she is on sirus right now, thinking about calling her to get my fix.

… and I do not use that word lightly. I mean killer, come on what am surfing in the OC?

Anyway, a picture is worth 1000 words so let me sum it up and let them do the talking.

Friday, I think I connected with my true spirit and started crafting. I have already become a mad craft blog hunter. This includes baked goods as well, and I would hate to admit it but I have a new appreciation for Martha “the Jailbird” Stewart. Dinner with great friends and some additional crafting until the wee hours of the night.

Saturday, 3 Burlington bike swaps and I found my new love. A Trek 1500, 47 cm. Perfect,  perfect, perfect. Add my mother’s old bike rack and we are in business. Not to mention watching Mike in his element was priceless. Whipped up some millionaires shortbread and it was quite a day.

Sunday, might be the topper! Started the day by crafting up a quick baby blanket for my friends husband (I broke down and got him a Yankees print fleece, yuck). Then it was off to Stowe for an 8 mile ride (jokingly (?) named the Tour de Stowe), quick scrub and off to Thunder Road opening day! That’s right I crowned the weekend with T-Road, love.

Okay so maybe that was a bit wordy… but here you go:

My crafty coat-rack:

owl

My lovely bike:

my-new-bike1

T-road!!!

troad

… not get billed for an extra month or come in there to fill out a form. I just want to CANCEL it. Seems simple right? So a few months ago the Olympiad was closed and all of its members (myself included) were transferred to the Sports and Fitness Edge (aka Twin Oaks). We got the FULL MONTY membership, all locations, pools, classes, the works, for a mere 50$ a month. Which is about 20$ cheaper than a normal membership.

Well I was never very good about actually getting to the gym to begin with, so add to it that this one is overcrowded and further away… I was not impressed. The space is smaller and good luck getting  a treadmill or through a weight routine without 7 people in front of you.

It is also Spring and I’d much rather take my exercises elsewhere… like the great outdoors. Add to that the fact that as a UVM alumni I can get a 6 mos membership for $44/mo or a year for about $33/mo, why would I stay!? The UVM gym also rocks.

So I finally decided that it is time to quit the Sports and Fitness edge and as an added bonus I can save some money over the summer (that I was clearly wasting anyway) . I set a reminder in my calendar prior to May 1st, to make sure I won’t forget. Monday, April 26th rolls around and I give them a call  to cancel. Well they tell me that is fine, but they still have to bill me for May… (more…)

… I am working and I had a few minutes to spare. I thought “Well I’ll write another post to the company blog and try to pick a topic that applies to not just one section of our client base, but to all of them.” So trying to think of a topic, I realize quite a number of our clients have blogs and few of them actually take the time to actively blog. They are lazy. So I punch “Lazy Blogger” into goolge.

I found the most delightful site. Not really work appropriate so I am sharing it with you all. It is the “Lazy Blogger Post Generator”.  Here is the result of my efforts:

Blimey! I just got slapped with a wet salmon – really – I have not updated this since Paris Hilton was in jail… You would not believe the amount of people that are totally stalking me. Dudes!

I am swilling chardonnay while setting fire to people wearing Crocs, rock crushing and  just generally being a Darling to anyone unfortunate to cross my path. My day drifts aimlessly from the light through yonder window breaks to I run out of alcohol. I am quite the socialite. but this damned rock is heavy.

I will try to remember I promised you I will write something that makes sense soon. Go with God, good friends. What do you mean you don’t believe me?

The funny thing is I feel this generated blog post does really capture my voice.  Takes all the guess work out of blogging really… if you ever see references to me crushing rocks or getting whacked with fish, you can be pretty sure I was having a lazy day.

I really don’t know the answer to every stupid question you could possibly think up. No I don’t know if the intern is here or not or will be today. No, I have no idea what type of payment arrangement the boss worked out with his future in-laws. Yes, I could get you the number for that client, but no easier than you could. We both have access to the same data sources.  No, I don’t know if so-and-so has gone to lunch or when they’ll be back. No, I am  not sure why the person who did that work failed to include a vital part of the project.

I really mean it, I don’t know! You’ll have to ask them yourself or I don’t know, do a  little research before you ask me because it is just easier.

… nurse. Today, not so much. I had to get x-rays taken of my finger, which required me to go to the hospital. So they sign me in and send me on down to the Radiology waiting room. I sit down and the first thing I notice is the waste bin RIGHT next to me. It has empty containers and straws probably used by sick people before their x-ray or MRI. This felt dangerously close and germy. So that was my first clue that maybe nursing is not the career for me.

Then I start to notice the sterile environment and florescent overhead lighting that is very typical of a HOSPITAL. I think I actually thought “It would suck to work in this place all day.” Clue number DUO.

The real nail in the coffin… I found myself covering my mouth when the nurse delivered the news that her patient did in fact have pneumonia. I  mean the lady was sitting right there across the room, I could have contracted it!

… GAY MARRIAGE I SAY! This week the Vermont State Legislature passed the veto override in support of gay marriage. It was one of those days that makes you proud to be a Vermonter, and lets be honest, we don’t need too many special reasons for that. Vermont rocks!

The right to marry whoever you love is now extended to all our community members, let the champagne flow! Of course who can say it better than Jon Stewart? That’s right we made the Daily Show, follow the link and click “I now pronounce you Ben & Jerry”

Next Page »